Style Invitational Week 1230: What in creation? Give us some divine plans. Plus the winning ‘grandfoals’ of Week 1226 (Bob Staake/For The Washington Post) By Pat Myers By Pat Myers Entertainment June 1 // (Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning “grandfoals”) [creating octopus] GOD: Give it 8 super strong arms & hands ANGEL: uh, we’re out of bones. GOD: 8 weird floppy arms w/ suction cup things(@huntigula on Twitter) *[creating bees] *Put a needle on its butt. “Come on, God, wha—” Make its puke delicious. (@themiltron, a.k.a. Horny Rae Jepsen) *[making bats]* GOD: just like a hairy black potato with wings ANGEL: um GOD: ANGEL: god? GOD: also it sleeps upside down like an idiot A squeezable (throttleable?) plush strep bacterium, this week's second prize. (Pat Myers/The Washington Post ) (@tricycle_champ, a.k.a. Jackson) *A thing on Twitter a couple of years ago *— hey, for the Empress, that’s a blink of her rheumy old eye — was a flurry of tweeted mini-dialogues on God Creating Stuff. BuzzFeed compiled some of the tweets last year, including the pseudonymous ones above, and Imperial Scion Valerie Holt alerted the Empress recently. *This week: Supply a brief monologue or dialogue about a Creator’s specifications or planning for some living being, *as in the examples above. Since the Invite doesn’t have Twitter’s strict space limitations — and because the Empress has this thing for punctuation and readability — please spell words out, use standard punctuation and capitalization, etc.; once we publish this week’s results, you can tweet your entry however you like. *Submit entries at this website: * *bit.ly/enter-invite-1230 * (all lowercase). Winner gets the *Inkin’ Memorial ,* the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy — one of the last few before we come out with a new design. Second place receives, in the spirit of Why?? creations, a cute plush Streptococcus pyogenes microbe, a.k.a. Sore Throat, donated long, long ago by Used to Do the Invite All the Time Paul Kondis. *Other runners-up *win our new “You Gotta Play to Lose” Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.” Honorable mentions get one of our new lusted-after Loser magnets, “No Childishness Left Behind” or “Magnum Dopus.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, June 12; results published July 2 (online June 29). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules . The headline for this week’s results was sent in by both Jon Gearhart and Jesse Frankovich; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Kevin Dopart. Join the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev ./ “Like” Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at /bit.ly/inkofday. / *The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column, published late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv . And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . . *FOALED AGAIN! THE GRANDS OF WEEK 1222 * In Week 1222, back in April, we presented (for the 23rd time) a list of horses nominated for the year’s Triple Crown races; you got to “breed” any two names and name the “foal” to reflect both names.  Then when the results ran four weeks later, it was time for *Week 1226 ,* our 12th annual “grandfoal” contest, in which you bred any two of those winning foal names. Here they are, from among 2,000 entries: puns on top of puns. 4th place: *Eureka! x Fish Shtick = You Reeka!* (Dave Letizia, Alexandria, Va.) 3rd place: *All Systems Ergo x I Like Big Buttons = No, Mr. President! * (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.) 2nd place and the memoir of a nude birder : *Bomb Bard x Fillet of Seoul = Jong-Un Foolish* (Elliott Shevin, Oak Park, Mich.) And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial: *Too Loose Lautrec x Eric Clap = Tool-Ooze Lautrec *(Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.) The Reekness: honorable mentions *Horse Fly United x Love Hertz = Now Horse Rent Car* (Sarah Jay, Churchville, Md.) *Erin Go Braghless x Titan the Screw = Nip & Torque* (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.) *Horse Fly United x Shall I Comp Thee? = No Thanks I’ll Sue * (Rebecca Simmons Poppe, Hampton, Va., a First Offender) [it may be a first for Ms. Poppe, but as Rebecca Simmons, she won a runner-up T-shirt in Week 159, back in 1996] *REMbrandt x Don’s Surly Slight = Dutch Tweet* (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.) *Erin Go Braghless x The Who? = Mamnesia *(Tom Witte) *All Systems Ergo x Man Asses = All Systems Ego* (George Smith, Frederick, Md.) *Erin Go Braghless x Baba O’Really = Bust but Verify* (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.) *Oh Say Can You Zzz x Bed Bath N Bayonne = Sleep W The Fishes * (David Peckarsky, Tucson, Ariz.; Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.) *Ho California x Bare It Browning = FiftyShadesOfTan *(Betsy Riley, Damascus, Md., a First Offender) *Ruble Yell x Bed Bath N Bayonne = Vladimir Linen* (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, Md.) *Disappearing Inc. x Help a Thief! = Going Going Goniff *(Chris Doyle) *’Ell, a Beer! x P.A.T. on the Back = Two-Pint Conversion *(Andrew Hoenig) *Eric Clap x Bare It Browning = Wonderbra Tonight *(Harvey Smith, McLean, Va.) *Eric Clap x Ho California = LayLA *(Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.) *Help a Thief! x Ho California = Aiding & Abedding *(William Kennard, Arlington, Va.; John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.) *In a Minute Dear x Oh Say Can You Zzz = Marital Bliss *(David Ballard, Reston, Va.) *Jeb! Stuart x Man Asses = LookAwayLookAway* (Rob Huffman) *Troy, Troy Again x Love Hertz = I Really Aikman* (Stephen Dudzik) *Muck Rakin’ x No, It’s Iowa = Manure Rakin’* (Sara Jay) *Horse Fly United x Disappearing Inc. = BoeingBoeingGone!* (Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.) *Fillet of Seoul x Help a Thief! = Gangnam Steal* (Laurie Brink, Cleveland, Mo.) *Good Vibe Rations x Fish Shtick = The Belch Boys * (Michael Rosen, New York) *Eureka! x Don’s Surly Slight = Vacuums Suck!* (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.) *Punk’d-uation x Disappearing Inc. = Comma Chameleon* (Ellen Ryan, Rockville, Md.; Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney, Md.) *Ho California x Shall I Comp Thee? = Trick or Treat* (Dave Matuskey, Sacramento) *No, It’s Iowa x Man Asses = Des Loines *(Brian Cohen, Winston-Salem, N.C.) *Spruuuuce!!! x Oh Say Can You Zzz = I’m a Slumberjack *(Stephen Dudzik) *Rubenesque Chance x Walk Off Homer = TheFatLadySwings *(Chris Doyle) *Troy, Troy Again x Ruble Yell = Trojan Hoarse *(Jeff Hazle, San Antonio) *Erin Go Braghless x Man Asses = Ann Teat ’Em *(Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.) *Man Asses x Muck Rakin’ = I Can See 4 Piles *(Chris Doyle) *Left Right Repeat x Congrats, Loser = Peri-pathetic* (Mary McNamara, Washington) *Fish Shtick x The Who? = Hard of Herring* (Deb Stewart, Damascus, Md.) *Fish Shtick x Carnegie Endowment = It Was This Big *(Harvey Smith) *Don’s Surly Slight x O Say, Can You C++ = Clod Computing* (Chris Doyle) *Felon of Troy x REMbrandt = Plunder&Whitening* (May Jampathom, Oakhurst, N.J.) *Fish Shtick x Good Vibe Rations = Tuna Piano* (Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.) *Bare It Browning x Rubenesque Chance = My Vast Duchess* (Laurie Brink) *Koch-Conspirator x I Like Big Buttons = TrumpOrdersAKoch* (Kevin Dopart, Washington) *Emir Trifle x Man Asses = Sheikh Yerbuti* (Mark Raffman) *Bonus Pints x ’Ell, a Beer! = IPA * *Lot* (May Jampathom) /And Last:/ *Congrats, Loser x Have One Skittle = Next Week’s Prize* (David Ballard) /We’ll give ink to more grandfoals (plus original foals from Week 1222) next month when the Empress is on vacation./ *Still running — deadline Monday night, June 5: our contest for “Gashlycrumb Tinies”-inspired alphabet couplets. See bit.ly/invite-1229 . *